


Sexy Stripper Man

by Slackersunite



Series: Sweet Dreams are Made of These [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol, Flirting, Fluff, M/M, Strippers & Strip Clubs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 18:52:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11561229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slackersunite/pseuds/Slackersunite
Summary: Wade goes to a strip club. And YES Peter just happens to be there.





	Sexy Stripper Man

**Author's Note:**

> Everything in italics is happening in Wade's brain.

Bodies. Base. "BACK UP!"

That's what Wade was yelling to the girl who was giving him a lap dance. The music was loud, the people were wild, and the alcohol flowed faster than the nile. Wade was having the time of his life, who didn't like to unwind at the club after a long week of work. Of course in Wade's case it wasn't the struggle of sitting at a desk, no he was more into field research.

Before he knew it his time was up, and the girl placed a kissed on his masked head before she swankily walked away. Wade would've thrown up more cash so he could sit on that chair for the rest of his life, but before he could the music quieted just a little and the lights swerved to the main stage. 

"INTRODUCING THE SEXIEST BUG IN THE APPLE. LAdieS ThIS OneS FOrR YOUu!" the MC throated out before the music surged.

There was smoke and strobes and out of the stage floor rose short wily brown hair and a twink body. The man clad in leather straps and nothing else grabbed the tall golden pole and swung around once before he dropped into his routine. Swinging and grinding his moves were advanced and sexy as fuck.

Wade was entranced, as was every other person in the club. "Well call me a lady!" was all Wade could think to say, and he was among the rush of women who were throwing cash the man's way. His body was covered in flawless creamy skin that did little to cover the obvious muscle underneath. His stomach was flat, and that v ran light but deep. And his ass...

[ _DoNT GET ME sSTARTEd On THESASSS_ ]

{ _How.. words. QUE?_ }

_Ditto._

After a few minutes he finished the routine, he hadn't touched the floor once and his moves were graceful and enticing in ways Wade didn't have the vocabulary to describe. If given the chance Wade would have emptied all of his bank accounts on the sexy stripper man, but before he could get all that cash flown over the man's feet touched the pink carpet of the circular stage and he slowly sunk back under. 

"WOOOH! YAAA BRING HIM BACK OUT! GIVE HIM MY NUMBER! OMYGODDDLY GODD!" Wade was barely heard over the music and clashing bodies but the man whose hearing was better than most heard every syllable.

Wade after witnessing what must've been the best show he had ever seen had slunk to the bar where he ordered beer and asked for extra citrus. 

Peter liked his job, he liked it even better when he got good comments and cash. He did shows every Saturday so he could pay his rent and his tuition and everything else, selling pictures to the Bugle just wasn't cutting it, and who didn't like strip clubs? 

Usually the crowd was mostly women, this being a heterosexual world, and this being far from a gay club. However there was always a few men and Peter absolutely loved that. Don't get it wrong, he was most certainly into women, who didn't like women? They're so soft and pretty. BUT, Peter did have a thing for men, cause... I mean, dicks. I guess. 

He had thrown on a pair of boy shorts over the leather and was strolling through the crowds. A few people smiled and nodded, thumbed up and all that sort of thing, but he was looking for a specific guy. Peter didn't usually pick anyone up, and he certainly didn't need to go looking for customers, no they all came to him. But this guy was special, he had a mouth on him, and his mask was hot.

Wade was chewing on his lemon, his mask rolled up half way, the lights were trippy enough that you couldn't make out the scars on his skin if you weren't looking for them. 

"Hey." 

Wade swiveled around in his seat coming face to face with the sexy stripper man with the ass. 

"OH MY FUCKK! You were so hott dudeee. SO HOT! SO ggood. UnebelieVABLE!" Wade sputerred out, too hard to be embarassed.

Peter laughed, "Thankss, I really appreciate all the tips you gave me. You got a lot of really large bills." 

"Eh well Ben Franklin is my boyfriend so, ya know. Gotta spend," Wade shrugged, he was really having a conversation with this hot half naked guy.  _YAY!_

"Aww, you have a boyfriend?" Peter play pouted,  _That's SEXY OMG_ , "Are you polyamorous by any chance?"

_DID he JUst?_

{[ _RIP_ ]}

"uhhhhh..." Wade was short circuiting.  _DID HE REALLY JUST?_

"I.. uh. Single. Actually. WHAT?" 

Peter laughed even more,  _his smile is so fucking gorgeous, flawless. FUCKING HELL!_  

"I'm Peter," the sexy stripper man with the ass said as he sat down at the bar next to Wade.  _DID HE JUST?! HE JUST FUCKING SAT NEXT TO ME FUCKKK JESUS OH SHITT~!_

"Names Wade, hard is the game."  _did I just say that? That's so weird, yikess!_

Peter only smiled and ordered himself a martini, "So you're single?" 

_VOICES! YELLOW! WHITE! DID HE ACTUALLY JUST SAY THAT! ARE WE DREAMING!_

_..._

_.._

_DAMMIT! they've passed out. WEAK FUCKERS!_

"I yeah, single and ready to mingle if you will," Wade tipped his beer towards the hot Peter.

"That's good. Cause I'm single too," Peter took a sip of his drink and leaned closer to Wade.

Wade only gulped, was this for real happening? Was this sexy piece of man meat asking him out?  _WHAT IS HAPPENING?!_

"Maybe we could fix that huh?" Peter cocked his head slightly, his fluffy hair bouncing.

"FIx?" Wade was about to choke on himself, "HuH! Que significa FIX?!" 

Peter smiled coyly, twirling a finger around the rim of his glass, "The single thing." 

Wade screamed internally, this was amazing. This was unbelievable, this man was  _FUCKING THE SHIT!_ Before Wade could answer though Peter was leaning forward, a hand came down on Wade's thigh and moved up ever so slowly. Peter leaned in closer the smell of sweat, alcohol, money, and cheap perfume hung densely between them. Peter moved in closer latching his lips with Wade's.  _OMFG_. Peter tasted so good, his lips were large and his tongue was no doubt experienced. Wade moaned and fell into the kiss, his arm wrapped around Peter's waist to pull him closer. Peter glided onto Wade's lap, his legs splayed on either side of the mercenary, Wade pulled him closer his naked torso crushing against Wade's own muscular form. The man's long graceful fingers cupped Wade's face as his tongue filled his mouth. Before his brain could process it, Peter' fingers slipped under Wade's mask and lifted it off revealing the scarred bald man. Peter knowing exactly what he was doing broke the kiss to get a better look at the guy he had just asked out. 

Wade noticed too soon. His mask was off, Peter was staring at him.  _NOOOOO!!!_ He felt like he was falling.

~

"JESUSUF UCKIGN SHITIJFIOWEJ" Wade yelled as he jerked awake. Peter was up in seconds flipping on the light that immediately illuminated the large master bedroom. 

"Are you okay? WAde!" Peter was kneeling in bed his hands cupping Wade's face, his eyes desperately scanning Wade's to find anything wrong.

Wade took a moment to calm down and then he realized where he was. He was in his bedroom, with his baby boy, and everything was okay.

"Yeah, just had a WILD dream. Baby boy when I say WILD I mean WILD! LIKE JUNGLE in BLUE PEOPLE AVATAR WILD!" 

Peter relaxed and dropped his hands, laughing at Wade's antics. It was only three in the goddamn morning. 

"Sounds fun. Sad I wasn't there," Peter mock pouted, and Wade couldn't help but think of dream Peter who was the same but so wildly different.

"YOu were a really HOTT Stripper, and you asked me out. AND WE KISSEED! AND WOWW!" 

Peter laughed, it was the same laugh as in the dream and he leaned forward to kiss Wade, pushing him back down into bed. "Mmm, you'd make a better stripper baby." 

"I couldn't compete with that ass." 

They fell into a lazy kiss. And then Peter turned around to switch off the lamp on the sidetable. Wade's large arms brought Peter against him and he cuddled into the smaller man's neck. 

"Good night sexy stripper man," Wade mumbled as he dozed off.

"Good night love," Peter smiled to himself before he too fell back asleep.

~

"Peter?" 

"Mm yeah Wade?"

"You don't think I'm ugly right?"

"Wade... you're super fabulous."

"Stripper Peter saw my face." 

"He loved it, he was staring cause you were making him hard."

"You sure."

"Duhh, he's me."

"Thanks baby boy."

"Love you too Wade."


End file.
